Top 20 Highlights of 2013

When i started my new Facebook album for 2013 i named the album " I think 2013 is going to be my year".  Little did i know that that was the truest statement!!! 2013 has been the best year of my life.  So many amazing & wonderful things have happened, and i'm finally content with who I am.  God has been so amazing to me .  I have realized i can't have negativity around me (including my own negativity)  Life is too short to be miserable and keep saying 'i'll do it tomorrow'. Today only happens once.  MAKE IT COUNT!

These are my top 20 amazing highlights of 2013

#1. Starting off the year closer to my husband than we've ever been.

#2. Receiving my first published print magazine for modeling.

#3. My husband taking me on THE most romantic & special Valentines day date to the aquarium.

#4. Being interviewed on the radio for modeling

#5. Getting requests for autographed posters of myself

#6. Receiving my first photo pass from a venue to shoot my favorite band Disciple.

#7. Being published in INKED GIRLS magazine for my modeling

#8. Going to Epcot for the first time with my Husband.

#9. My first photography publishing

#10. My photography business taking off

#11. Receiving a photo pass to shoot both the Awakening Festival & Uprise festival.

#12. Shooting my first concert for HM magazine

#13. Getting to go onstage and shoot my favorite band Disciple.

#14. My first video interview with a band and receiving my own segment on HM magazine., "The Babbling Brooke"

#15. Band members requesting me to shoot their concerts.

#16. Getting to interview & hangout backstage with Family Force 5

#17. Interviewing Matt from august burns red on their tour bus.

#18. Creating new life long friendships

#19. Getting a call that I will have my first gallery showing, and being named one of RAW baltimore's featured photographers.

#20. Finding my confidence so i can conquer anything i put my mind to!

SEARCH ME

Search Me.  READ PSALM 139 before reading below    :-)

Holy moley its been a long time since my last post!

God has been doing a big number on my life lately.  Teaching me, humbling me and taking the blinders of my eyes to things.  The biggest thing that He has been teaching me about is loving others.  There is so much hatred and judementalness in the world, that is nothing new to me.  What really saddens me, is that it seems to be growing more so in the Christian world. 

Christian is defined as -  Professing belief in Jesus as Christ.  Belief is defined as- Something one accepts as true or real; a firmly held opinion or conviction.  So calling yourself a Christian not ONLY means that you profess that Jesus is Lord, but that you ACCEPT that it true and real to you.  If we believe that Jesus is Lord, then we believe in all His teachings.  Christ mainly taught us to love one another, He called this the GREATEST comandment.  Unfortunately, this comandment seems to be the hardest for Christians to follow. 

In church today we looked at prayer.  How to pray. What it means to pray.  And all that jazz.  What hit me the most was, in Psalm 139, David prays a prayer to the Lord.  It starts out as a rejoicing prayer.  David says to the Lord that He has created everything, and knows all. And how wonderful that is.  But the prayer changes all of a sudden to David prayigng that the Lord smite all that speak against the Lords name. To slay the wicked , that david hates those who speak ill of the Lord..  At first David is giving thanks to the Lord that He has created all things and that nothing is out of His sight, then he changes and starts thinking about others, the ones that are sinful and wicked. But at the end it seems that David realizes that the only thing that he should be praying is that the Lord search him (david) to find any sinfulness in him , to take it away. 

I feel thats what the modern day christian is doing.  We walk around giving thanks to God for so many things,  But the second we hear or see someone else doing something that we don't necessarily think is very 'christian' we point fingers at them, called then ungodly & sinful.  We talk about them to other christians, so we aren't alone in the judging.  We are so busy judging others that we forget about our own sin, our own wickedness.  We all have it in our lives, different types of sin.  And because we never want to see the sin in our own lives, we spend our time calling other people out on their sin. 

God has called us to love one another.  He has called us to love one another because we ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  We ALL deserve the same fate.  We ALL struggle with different things, and we ALL make mistakes and choices that aren't examples of the christian life we claim to be living.

The only thing we need to worry about is our own personal relationship with God.  We need to ask God to search ourelves.  Not telling judging others for their mistakes and choices.  We are each on our own walk with the Lord.  We are all on different parts of the path, some are further while others stumble. Instead of walking by when our borther or sister stumble, and judge them , we need to help them up, help them down the path.  Because one day we will fall and we will need someone to help us back up.  And if you continue to judge and hate others, it will be a lonely walk when we eventually fall down.  We need to search in ourselves and see what sin is in us, and love others through their mistakes.  

Matt. 7:3
"Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

LORD, SING ME A LULLABY- A SONG OR POEM WRITTEN BY ME

THE STORM CAME AND I WAS THROWN INTO THE SEA
TOSSED AROUND BY THE MIGHTY WAVES
I WAS CRASHED ONTO THE SHORE,
LEFT BROKEN AND ALONE

LORD, SING ME A LULLABY

PUT ME BACK TOGETHER TONIGHT

LORD, SING ME A LULLABY

I NEED THE STRENGTH TO CARRY ON


MY HEART IS SO FRAGILE
ITS BEEN BROKEN SO MANY TIMES
IT SEEMS WHEN I FINALLY GET IT TOGETHER
IT SHATTERS AGAIN

LORD, SING ME A LULLABY

PUT ME BACK TOGETHER TONIGHT

LORD, SING ME A LULLABY

I NEED THE STRENGTH TO CARRY ON


LORD, QUIET ME WITH YOUR LOVE
SING ME TO SLEEP TONIGHT
ONLY YOUR SONG WILL BRING ME TO PEACE

...Relentless...

I was listening to one of David Crowders Cd's, (sorry all my blogs refer to songs, i'm obsessed with worship and music so bare with me people)   and i came across a line in a song that said, "Lord, Your love is relentless and I'm glad for it. If not for it I'd parish".   The definition of relentless is, ''unyieldingly severe, unbending, adamant, sustained ."   That last one really stuck with me.  Sustained.  His love for us is set, its not moving , swaying, or inching away. Its sustained for all eternity.  Human love unfortunately isn't like this.  How many times have you changed loves for something.  Whether it be certain foods, styles of dress, music tastes, even certain people in your life.  I know for me theres been dozens of people that have come in and out of my life.  People that i started off loving!!, then suddenly found myself not so thrilled about them.  Humans are fickle. We change our minds on a minute to minute basis about everything.  Its sad that we aren't more consistent.  But praise the Lord for His relentless love towards us.  His love never fades or changes..no matter what we do.

To feel the warmth of Your embrace

Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire
No one else will do
'Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You

You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near 


I've been feeling so far from the Lords embrace lately.  Can't seem to stop making the same mistakes  over and over and over again.  God is NEVER the one to walk away from us...we are the ones who walk away from Him.  Its sometimes scary to see how the smallest of steps , makes the biggest distance. My prayer lately is that the Lord brings me back to Him.  I'm only content when i'm in His embrace.  I know the way back to Him its just all about me taking the steps to get there.  Keep me in your prayers guys!

                                                 

My Friend Matthew

Last March Chad & I took a cruise.  We went to 6 different Islands which were all beautiful and fun! But one island in particular really left its mark on us.  The day we docked in Dominica (not to be confused with the dominican republic) it was rainy, humid and gross.  We walked out onto the top deck to take a look at the island.  It wasnt the most attractive of islands.  That and the fact that the cruise workers said that its one of the more dangerous of islands and to stay only with the carnival groups, made us want to just stay on the ship for the day.  As we were hanging out Chad decided it would be a waste if we at least didnt get off the boat and look around.  So we got off the ship and right on the dock were some flea market type shops, we were just going to walk around those then get right back on board.  As we were wondering around a woman came up to us asking if we wanted a discounted tour of the water falls.  We kept saying thanks but no thanks because she wasnt with carnival, and there was nooo way we were going in a random taxi into the middle of this island.  She came up to us a few times and Chad being the risk taker out of the two of us said, "why not? it would be awesome to see and we may never be here again".  So after arguing Chad won.  I was sooo nervous and praying to God that He would protect us. The woman walked us to where the taxi's were and called to a man named Matthew.  She introduced us and said that Matthew would be our tour guide/ taxi driver for the day.  The beat up little car with a ripped up ceiling made me even more nervous.  I noticed a Bible in the passenger seat of the car..(wierd)  Then i saw a cross hanging from the rear view mirror.  And for some unknown reason, my nerves went completely away.  Not normal for myself. 

Matthew was very quiet, and chad started asking questions about the island and what not.  Matthew started talking our ear off about how the first Pirates of the Caribbean was filmed there and that he was Johnny Depp's taxi driver for the few months of filming (totally awesome). After talking about how down to earth Mr. Depp was (as he called him)  , Matthew asked if we were married.  We told him that we were JUST engaged and were in the process of wedding planning.  A huge happy smile crossed his face.  He began to tell us his love story with the woman he was with now.  How every smile and every touch of the hand was an electric shock to him, after 8 years of being together.  How they find so much love together by just taking in the Lords creation. The way he talked about his girl was unlike any love I have ever witnessed.  He had tears running down his face talking about how much he loved her. Truly touching! 

As we drove through the island we saw the places people lived, literally homes with no walls just a covering from weather.  People living on cement slabs, under trees, small tents made out of old clothes. Matthew was so proud to show us the island he called home.  Saying how close he feels to his Creator every day waking up and just watching the sunset, swimming in the ocean, and sitting and being.  His passion for life and the Lord made my own look so small and almost ungrateful.  Matthew lives in one of the poorest places i've ever seen (in person) and he was sooo unbelievably in love with life.  He said he'd never travelled off his island and hasnt seen any where besides this island.  He said he knew he wasnt missing anything, that people over the world were greedy and unhappy, even though they have everything.  That hit hard!  We live in a country that has EVERYTHING, and we have bad moods and bad days because things dont go our way some days.  I've never seen the passion for ANYTHING from ANYONE , like i saw from the few hours i spent with Matthew.  

When our trip was over Matthew pulled up to where our boat was docked.  Before we got out of the car he turned around in the seat and looked at us.  He said, " No matter what happens in life, the good the bad , always remember to love each other with your whole hearts. Never take each other for granted. Don't let the sun or moon or mountians or sky separate your love.  Don't let little things get in the way. And always give the Creator glory for He gave us this wonderful gift of life.  If i don't meet you two in this life again, i know i will meet you in the life after where we can worship the Creator forever and i look forward to that." ....I was so indescribably touched by his words and his passion i had tears running from eyes.  

We judged the outer appearance of the small island. But no other experience so far in my life has touched me that way.  I've see gorgeous places that didnt have the same depth that i saw in the people of Dominica.  Chad and I grew closer on that day after those words from Matthew.  We realized that we found each other and want to spend forever with each other.  And we also realize that not everyone finds that one person they can journey through life with.  And we do not want to take that gift lightly.  We also realize we want our passion for the Lord deeper in our lives , because only then can we really love each other with no conditions, to see love how God meant it to be.  I thank God everyday for the blessing of meeting Matthew.  It has really changed my life. 

Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name;
make known His deeds among the peoples!
Sing to Him, sing praises to Him;
tell of all His wondrous works! Psalm 105:1-2

I'm Only A Foot

Lately i've been really realizing how much of a loner I am.  Well..i guess i've always been that way, but lately its been sticking out to me a lot more.  I've always been extremely independent.  Not in a .."i'm going to take a trip around the world by myself."..independent, but .."i'm not going to let you in to see the frail and vulnerable me."independent.  I've never been the type of person to just bare it all.  Tell people my deepest secrets and concerns.  Usually when people get too close I turn into a recluse.  Its like my mind screams "RUN FOR THE HILLS, YOUR GUARD IS GOING DOWN!".  So I run.. But recently I've really seen how in doing that I'm hurting not only myself, but i'm running away from others who could use my encouragement and listening ear.  

It's so funny, today (sunday 9th)  Chad and I decided to go to church.  (side note i havent been to church in a good 3 years or so)  And the sermon was on  NEEDING EACH OTHER.  I literally was laughing to myself how God works things out.  I heard exactly what i needed to hear during my struggle. God tells us countless times in the Bible how much we need each other in this life.  God created the body of Christ so we wouldn't have to walk alone. READ  1 Cor. 12, 15-20.."  Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, ....But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be. If they were all one part , where would the body be?"  God has made each one of us unique.  We each have something to offer that someone else does not. We all work together like a body does!

We also need encouragement from others. “Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). BOY DO I REALIZE THIS NOW.  Life sucks.  It really does.  Life is never an easy ride.  There are tons of pot holes, small & large hills and bad weather to get in the way.  We cannot pretend that life is all gummy bears and sunshine. Being able to talk and listen to each other is the best medicine. Each of us has had trials we have gotten through, and we can offer each other words of advice and encouragement to uplift one another. We were never ment to walk this road alone. I now realize that I need others to help carry my burdens.  God is good all the time, He is continually showing me how small and helpless I am, and thats a good thing!  Its tiring to hold everything inside and on your shoulders.  This song by Rebecca St. James is one of my favorites.  It has really been opening my eyes and heart to let others in. 

I know that look in your eyes
I see the pain behind your smile                                   
Please don't hold it all inside
Together we can run
To the finish line
And when you are tired
I'll carry you

I can't walk this road without you
You cannot go it alone
We were never meant to make it on our own
And when the load becomes to heavy
And your feet too tired too walk
I will carry you and we'll be carried on

Share your burden now
I will listen
And when I'm weak
Will you hold me to the truth
That we can go on, for we are carried
Three strands of chord
Cannot be easily torn...

I can't walk this road without you
You cannot go it alone
We were never meant to make it on our own
When the load becomes to heavy
And your feet too tired too walk
I will carry you and we'll be carried on