Hello! I wanted to start a blog to record some random ramblings of my life. I'm about to get married to the most amazing person in the world and my life has been so blessed. God is teaching me new things every day and i would like to share tid bits of whats going on! Thanks for reading and taking an interest! :)
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
'Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You
You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near
I've been feeling so far from the Lords embrace lately. Can't seem to stop making the same mistakes over and over and over again. God is NEVER the one to walk away from us...we are the ones who walk away from Him. Its sometimes scary to see how the smallest of steps , makes the biggest distance. My prayer lately is that the Lord brings me back to Him. I'm only content when i'm in His embrace. I know the way back to Him its just all about me taking the steps to get there. Keep me in your prayers guys!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
My Friend Matthew
Last March Chad & I took a cruise. We went to 6 different Islands which were all beautiful and fun! But one island in particular really left its mark on us. The day we docked in Dominica (not to be confused with the dominican republic) it was rainy, humid and gross. We walked out onto the top deck to take a look at the island. It wasnt the most attractive of islands. That and the fact that the cruise workers said that its one of the more dangerous of islands and to stay only with the carnival groups, made us want to just stay on the ship for the day. As we were hanging out Chad decided it would be a waste if we at least didnt get off the boat and look around. So we got off the ship and right on the dock were some flea market type shops, we were just going to walk around those then get right back on board. As we were wondering around a woman came up to us asking if we wanted a discounted tour of the water falls. We kept saying thanks but no thanks because she wasnt with carnival, and there was nooo way we were going in a random taxi into the middle of this island. She came up to us a few times and Chad being the risk taker out of the two of us said, "why not? it would be awesome to see and we may never be here again". So after arguing Chad won. I was sooo nervous and praying to God that He would protect us. The woman walked us to where the taxi's were and called to a man named Matthew. She introduced us and said that Matthew would be our tour guide/ taxi driver for the day. The beat up little car with a ripped up ceiling made me even more nervous. I noticed a Bible in the passenger seat of the car..(wierd) Then i saw a cross hanging from the rear view mirror. And for some unknown reason, my nerves went completely away. Not normal for myself.
Matthew was very quiet, and chad started asking questions about the island and what not. Matthew started talking our ear off about how the first Pirates of the Caribbean was filmed there and that he was Johnny Depp's taxi driver for the few months of filming (totally awesome). After talking about how down to earth Mr. Depp was (as he called him) , Matthew asked if we were married. We told him that we were JUST engaged and were in the process of wedding planning. A huge happy smile crossed his face. He began to tell us his love story with the woman he was with now. How every smile and every touch of the hand was an electric shock to him, after 8 years of being together. How they find so much love together by just taking in the Lords creation. The way he talked about his girl was unlike any love I have ever witnessed. He had tears running down his face talking about how much he loved her. Truly touching!
As we drove through the island we saw the places people lived, literally homes with no walls just a covering from weather. People living on cement slabs, under trees, small tents made out of old clothes. Matthew was so proud to show us the island he called home. Saying how close he feels to his Creator every day waking up and just watching the sunset, swimming in the ocean, and sitting and being. His passion for life and the Lord made my own look so small and almost ungrateful. Matthew lives in one of the poorest places i've ever seen (in person) and he was sooo unbelievably in love with life. He said he'd never travelled off his island and hasnt seen any where besides this island. He said he knew he wasnt missing anything, that people over the world were greedy and unhappy, even though they have everything. That hit hard! We live in a country that has EVERYTHING, and we have bad moods and bad days because things dont go our way some days. I've never seen the passion for ANYTHING from ANYONE , like i saw from the few hours i spent with Matthew.
When our trip was over Matthew pulled up to where our boat was docked. Before we got out of the car he turned around in the seat and looked at us. He said, " No matter what happens in life, the good the bad , always remember to love each other with your whole hearts. Never take each other for granted. Don't let the sun or moon or mountians or sky separate your love. Don't let little things get in the way. And always give the Creator glory for He gave us this wonderful gift of life. If i don't meet you two in this life again, i know i will meet you in the life after where we can worship the Creator forever and i look forward to that." ....I was so indescribably touched by his words and his passion i had tears running from eyes.
We judged the outer appearance of the small island. But no other experience so far in my life has touched me that way. I've see gorgeous places that didnt have the same depth that i saw in the people of Dominica. Chad and I grew closer on that day after those words from Matthew. We realized that we found each other and want to spend forever with each other. And we also realize that not everyone finds that one person they can journey through life with. And we do not want to take that gift lightly. We also realize we want our passion for the Lord deeper in our lives , because only then can we really love each other with no conditions, to see love how God meant it to be. I thank God everyday for the blessing of meeting Matthew. It has really changed my life.
Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name;
make known His deeds among the peoples!
Sing to Him, sing praises to Him;
tell of all His wondrous works! Psalm 105:1-2
Sunday, January 9, 2011
I'm Only A Foot
Lately i've been really realizing how much of a loner I am. Well..i guess i've always been that way, but lately its been sticking out to me a lot more. I've always been extremely independent. Not in a .."i'm going to take a trip around the world by myself."..independent, but .."i'm not going to let you in to see the frail and vulnerable me."independent. I've never been the type of person to just bare it all. Tell people my deepest secrets and concerns. Usually when people get too close I turn into a recluse. Its like my mind screams "RUN FOR THE HILLS, YOUR GUARD IS GOING DOWN!". So I run.. But recently I've really seen how in doing that I'm hurting not only myself, but i'm running away from others who could use my encouragement and listening ear.
It's so funny, today (sunday 9th) Chad and I decided to go to church. (side note i havent been to church in a good 3 years or so) And the sermon was on NEEDING EACH OTHER. I literally was laughing to myself how God works things out. I heard exactly what i needed to hear during my struggle. God tells us countless times in the Bible how much we need each other in this life. God created the body of Christ so we wouldn't have to walk alone. READ 1 Cor. 12, 15-20.." Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, ....But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be. If they were all one part , where would the body be?" God has made each one of us unique. We each have something to offer that someone else does not. We all work together like a body does!
We also need encouragement from others. “Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). BOY DO I REALIZE THIS NOW. Life sucks. It really does. Life is never an easy ride. There are tons of pot holes, small & large hills and bad weather to get in the way. We cannot pretend that life is all gummy bears and sunshine. Being able to talk and listen to each other is the best medicine. Each of us has had trials we have gotten through, and we can offer each other words of advice and encouragement to uplift one another. We were never ment to walk this road alone. I now realize that I need others to help carry my burdens. God is good all the time, He is continually showing me how small and helpless I am, and thats a good thing! Its tiring to hold everything inside and on your shoulders. This song by Rebecca St. James is one of my favorites. It has really been opening my eyes and heart to let others in.
I know that look in your eyes
I see the pain behind your smile
Please don't hold it all inside
Together we can run
To the finish line
And when you are tired
I'll carry you
I see the pain behind your smile
Please don't hold it all inside
Together we can run
To the finish line
And when you are tired
I'll carry you
I can't walk this road without you
You cannot go it alone
We were never meant to make it on our own
And when the load becomes to heavy
And your feet too tired too walk
I will carry you and we'll be carried on
You cannot go it alone
We were never meant to make it on our own
And when the load becomes to heavy
And your feet too tired too walk
I will carry you and we'll be carried on
Share your burden now
I will listen
And when I'm weak
Will you hold me to the truth
That we can go on, for we are carried
Three strands of chord
Cannot be easily torn...
I will listen
And when I'm weak
Will you hold me to the truth
That we can go on, for we are carried
Three strands of chord
Cannot be easily torn...
I can't walk this road without you
You cannot go it alone
We were never meant to make it on our own
When the load becomes to heavy
And your feet too tired too walk
I will carry you and we'll be carried on
You cannot go it alone
We were never meant to make it on our own
When the load becomes to heavy
And your feet too tired too walk
I will carry you and we'll be carried on
What I've Overcome
For the first blog i just wanted to post lyrics to my current favorite song..its called "What I've Overcome", by FireFlight...its an amazing song and it truly has spoken to me.
I've got this passion
It's something I can't describe
It's so electric
It's like I've just come alive
I feel this freedom
Now that my past is erased
I feel the healing
I've found the meaning of grace
(I've found grace)
If only You come see me yesterday
Who I used to be before I change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars
Funny how words can't explain
How good it finally feels to break the chains
I'm not what I have done
I'm what I've overcome
I know I stumble
I know I still face defeat
This second chance is
What will define me
So I'm moving forward
I'm standing on my two feet
I've got momentum
I've got someone saving me
(got someone saving me)
If only You come see me yesterday
Who I used to be before I change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars
Funny how words cant explain
How good it finally feels to break the chains
I'm not what I have done
I'm what I've overcome
I make mistakes and I might fall
But I won't break
I've got someone saving me
If only You could see me yesterday
Who I used to be before I change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars
It's something I can't describe
It's so electric
It's like I've just come alive
I feel this freedom
Now that my past is erased
I feel the healing
I've found the meaning of grace
(I've found grace)
If only You come see me yesterday
Who I used to be before I change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars
Funny how words can't explain
How good it finally feels to break the chains
I'm not what I have done
I'm what I've overcome
I know I stumble
I know I still face defeat
This second chance is
What will define me
So I'm moving forward
I'm standing on my two feet
I've got momentum
I've got someone saving me
(got someone saving me)
If only You come see me yesterday
Who I used to be before I change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars
Funny how words cant explain
How good it finally feels to break the chains
I'm not what I have done
I'm what I've overcome
I make mistakes and I might fall
But I won't break
I've got someone saving me
If only You could see me yesterday
Who I used to be before I change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars
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